


beautiful boy

by MEM0RYBOY



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Family Dynamics, Family Fluff, Fluff, Hybrids, Light Angst, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, Winged Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), also teenager dream later, chaos and bees, dad!schlatt, he just wants to protect tubbo, him and wilbur struggle to be dads, kid!dream, kid!fundy, kid!ranboo, kid!tommy, kid!tubbo, phil tries to help out, please he's actually clueless, quackity shows up eventually i promise, same with ranboo, schlatt and puffy are siblings, schlatt becomes a dad overnight pog, schlatt is Rich, schlatt is clueless, schlatt is insecure, schlatt is trying, tubbo gets found in a box, tubbo is adorable, wilbur and schlatt struggle to be dads
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:55:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29005668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MEM0RYBOY/pseuds/MEM0RYBOY
Summary: Schlatt finds a box in front of his door. The box has a kid inside. He's practically blackout drunk when he finds it, so, he does the only thing a rational person would do; keep the baby as his own.When he wakes up sober, he realizes that he now actually has a kid.Being clueless and now a single father with nothing more than the help of his friends, family, and the internet, boy, is he in for one hell of a ride.ORSchlatt struggles to be a good dad, but he tries ft. his family and friends, who also have their own issues to deal with.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 34
Kudos: 222





	1. baby in a box

**Author's Note:**

> i have no idea what i'm doing.

It was the middle of the night, loud, obnoxious noises of the city blaring through the glass of his windows. Schlatt hadn’t slept in who knows how long, having to go to countless business meetings and having to fill out a ridiculous amount of paperwork within such a short amount of time. The man let out a puff of the expensive cuban cigar he had been smoking, putting it out on his window sill before taking a swig from the bottle of whiskey. Drinking it straight out of the bottle was something he’d normally never do as he considered himself a pretty classy guy, but tonight, he had no kind of energy within him whatsoever. Seriously, it was like work was a vampire sucking the very essence of life from him. 

He had lost track of the days, of how many nights in a row he had drank his woes and worries away. Schlatt knew if his sister saw him in this state, she would surely slap some sense into him.

_He'd promise her he'd be different, that he'd finally get his shit together, but-_

His thoughts were cut through abruptly by a thump seemingly coming from the area of his front door, startling him.

“...Who the hell could that be? It’s fuckin’ three in the damn morning.” He huffs, rubbing his eyes before heading over to the door in the other room. Schlatt swung the door open, scanning the hallway for any signs of life, though he saw no one. His eyebrows knitted together in a expression of irritation. God, he hated people.

“Are you kidding me- What kind of bastard ding dong ditches in the middle of the night? Why is the security here so ass?” The ram-hybrid mutters to himself, eyes rolling. “I hate it here.” He sighs, ready to slam the door shut before he hears a soft shuffling sound, followed by some kind of babble or gurgle, the type of noise you'd hear from a baby.

“The _fuck_?” He looked down by his feet, gaze landing upon a tiny box, barely open. Schlatt crouched down, scrunching up his nose as he inspected the outside of the cardboard. Looks like any other type of box. He grabs one of the flaps, opening it to reveal something he least expected. 

A **baby**.

“ _Wha_ -” Schlatt’s eyes widened. Did he drink too much? Why the actual fuck was there a literal _child_ on his doorstep? He looked closer at the baby, just wanting to make sure it wasn’t hurt or anything (Sure, Schlatt was an asshole, but he wasn’t a monster). The baby had a head of soft, chestnut coloured hair, rosy cheeks, and wide, doe eyes which looked at him with wonder. The infant was wrapped burrito style in a black blanket, a bright yellow pacifier in its mouth. Stuck on the blanket was a slightly crumpled piece of paper. The man carefully grabbed the note, doing his best not to startle the kid. Of course this would happen to a guy like Schlatt, considering his type of luck. He sighed, opening the piece of paper, scanning over the sloppily words written in dark blue ink.

**_“I’m sorry for just leaving him here, but I ~~just can't take this anymore,~~ don’t know what to do. I can’t give him a good life. Maybe the person who finds him can.” _ **

Schlatt’s eyes narrowed. _Find_? The box was deliberately placed in front of his door! He tosses the note on the ground.

Did this baby’s mom or dad just leave him there because they knew Schlatt had money? Smart, but what made them think he’d keep some random ass kid?

“It’s too late for me to be dealing with shit like this. I should have just gone to sleep or something.” He murmured, running his fingers through his disheveled hair.

Schlatt considers his options. He could call the cops, tell them about an abandoned kid he'd randomly found at his front doorstep, or he could even drop the baby off at a nearby station himself.

Or...he could _keep_ -

What? Who the fuck was he kidding? Him? The chaotic motherfucker that _nobody_ wanted near their kid, the fucking _Schlatt_ , raising a _kid_? It was comical of him to even consider the option in the first place. He could barely care for himself, what the hell made him think he could take care of another living being?

“Sorry about your parents being dickheads, kiddo.” Schlatt sympathizes with the child, knowing that familiar feeling of abandonment, although, he definitely wasn’t this young when it hit him,. He carefully reaches into the box, lifting up the swaddled baby up to his chest. He could feel his hands shaking due to pure nervousness, afraid that he would somehow cause harm to the kid. He was never a “kid” type of guy, for fucks sake, he hated the things with every fiber of his being, so holding a baby was definitely something he didn’t do very often. Though, his buddy had recently had a baby himself, and even had a kid brother, not to mention his sister, Puffy, had a kid of her own, so he eventually had to learn how to properly hold one.

The baby looks up at him, small fists reaching out for one of Schlatt’s fingers. Before the man can do anything, the baby has his tiny fingers wrapped around Schlatt’s index finger. He gurgled happily before yawning, the pacifier almost completely falling out of his mouth. 

Now, Schlatt wasn’t the type of guy to get all mushy and shit, nevermind him actually feeling warm and fuzzy inside because of some random kid, but he couldn't help it. A smile tugs at his lips. The man kicks the now empty box aside, leaving it out there for whenever he feels like tossing it in the trash before shutting his door. He locks it, holding onto the infant carefully in a way so that there’s no possibility of him dropping the baby. (He was sure he’d somehow end up yeeting the kid, but not on purpose.) Schlatt shuffled along into his living room, sitting down on the couch.

“Jeez, what the fuck am I supposed to do with you, little guy?” He grumbled, gently patting the baby’s head, almost like he was petting a dog. To be fair, Schlatt had no idea how to keep a baby content, but the kid didn’t seem to mind at all. In fact, it looks like he was getting sleepier and sleepier by the minute, much to the luck to Schlatt, who also has no fucking idea on how to deal with a crying child. He shruddered at the thought of having to calm a weeping baby down. 

Schlatt continues with the soft motion on the soft hair of the baby before he feels his fingers brush over to bumps on the infant’s head. The man doesn’t know why, but it feels as if his heart stops just for a split second.

_It’s not like the boy was his, why the fuck should Schlatt care if he was sick or hurt?_

Perhaps it was the alcohol in his veins controlling him, or the complete sleep-deprivation delirium finally hitting him, who knows.

The man moves the kid’s hair aside ever so slightly (for such a small baby, the boy sure did have a head full of hair), revealing two tiny, barely visible horns.

More specifically, they were _ram_ horns.

_Just like Schlatt’s._

And he wasn't sure why, but he could feel tears beginning to form in the corner of his eyes, threatening to fall. For fucks sake, he needed to stop drinking because the majority of time, it would just result in him becoming an emotional piece of shit. Schlatt glanced down at the baby’s face and he swore he could actually see himself reflecting in those lost, doe eyes.

Abandoned by those who were meant to love him, vulnerable, seeking warmth and love in such a cruel world.

It hadn’t even been thirty minutes yet and Schlatt was attached to the baby boy contently sitting in his arms, just as if the kid really was related to him by blood. 

“Dear God, what am I getting myself into?” He laughed at the absurdity of the situation, shaking his head at himself. He was actually doing this. Schlatt was seriously going to keep this kid.

He knew sober Schlatt was gonna have a field day in the morning when he finds a whole ass random infant in his house.

But, that was something he’d deal with in the coming hours. For now, he would bask in the newly found company. Honestly, he needed this. For being quite large and full of expensive things, his house sure was lonely and just overall depressing. Maybe a baby wasn’t the exact thing (he was thinking more along the lines of a dog or a cat, but this was basically the same thing, right?) he was in need of, but Schlatt was sure he’d finally be able to find a new purpose in his life, a new drive to make him want to get out of bed everyday. When your whole life revolves around alcohol and dreading your job, there really isn't much motivation to move a muscle out of bed.

“Tubbo.” He blurts out suddenly, confusing himself in the process. His gaze had just fallen on a random piece of dirty tupperware sat on his coffee table. Sometimes, he couldn't believe himself. Was Schlatt really about to name this kid after some random plastic container? _Damn fucking right he was_. Again, no intentions whatsoever of suddenly having a baby thrown into his care, so it wasn’t like he had meticulously chosen the “perfect” name. 

Perhaps he wouldn’t definitively put the name “Tubbo” on whatever paperwork he needed to sign for this kid (Since when was he considering _adopting_ him?), but instead keep it as some sort of nickname. 

“Hmm...How about Toby? That’s a nice name, right? I think they’d let me put that as your legal name. They better, or I'll tear someone's head off.” He growled, already protective of Tubbo and ready to fight any bastard that dared to say shit about the child or his name. Besides, Toby was a cute name, right? He's sure Puffy would like the name too, for hell's sake, she had basically named her kid after colorful mud and gave him an odd nickname as well, so she was in no place to say anything to Schlatt about his choice in names or nicknames.

“Do you like the name, kiddo? Or should I come up with another one?” Schlatt questioned, holding up Tubbo so that the baby is face to face with him, wanting the input of the little one. (Yes, he is literally asking a baby for its opinion, what about it?). He hopes he doesn’t smell too much like smoke and alcohol, as he has no idea if the mere stench of it can have any kind of affect on an infant.

Tubbo only giggles, tiny fists reaching out for Schlatt’s sideburns, tugging on them. He babbles in whatever cursed fucking language babies speak and God, Schlatt feels like he’s on cloud nine and that is heart is ready to burst. Sure, the kid has an iron grasp and it feels like Schlatt’s sideburns are literally being torn off, but the overall cuteness compensates for the temporary pain. 

He chuckles, patting the fluffy head of hair. “I take that as a yes, then? You’re in for a ride, Tubs. You have _this_ piece of shit as a dad now.” Schlatt smiled at the baby, carefully getting up and walking back over to his room, which now, wouldn’t be so sad and lonely. He sighed, knowing that he’d have to invest in turning one of his spare rooms into a nursery soon. At least it would have an actual purpose instead of being a guest room that nobody ever stayed in.

For now though, Tubbo would have to just chill in Schlatt’s room.

He set the baby down on the silk sheets of his king-sized bed, right in the middle so that there was no chance Tubbo would somehow fall off and bonk his head open. “Stay there. Don’t move a muscle, you hear me?” Schlatt narrowed his eyes at the infant, as if giving him the “ _I’m watching you_ ” glare before quickly dashing over to his closet. He grabbed a couple of random things, like some shirts he never wore and a shoebox.

The man rubbed his eyes, fighting off the tiredness. He carefully sat on the edge of the bed, doing his best not to disturb Tubbo, who was clearly halfway asleep. Schlatt tossed out the random dress shoes occupying the box before placing down the shirts inside, as if making a makeshift pillow and bed. He looked at his improvised “crib” with pride, practically patting himself on the back. Sure, it wasn’t the best thing out there, but it wasn’t like he could go and purchase an actual crib when it was almost four in the morning. It would have to do for now.

Schlatt scooped up Tubbo gently, who whined in discomfort. 

“I know you’re tired, bud. Give me a second, Okay?” He whispered softly, re-swaddling the baby to keep him warm and comfortable before placing Tubbo in the box.

He beamed at the sight. “Looks like boxes are your thing, little dude. Tubbo in a box, what will he do?” Schlatt jokes to himself quietly, sighing contentedly as he watches the baby fall back to sleep instantly.

But in all seriousness, he wished hell upon those who had just tossed this boy into a box, discarding him like garbage and tossing him onto some strange guy’s doorstep. For all they could have known, Schlatt could have been a child murderer or some shit! He grit his teeth at the thought of anybody else but him finding Tubbo, or the thought of the boy being in any kind of potential danger. Tubbo was innocence, helpless to the cruelty of 

He knows that raising a child was a much more difficult thing than having a pet or anything along those lines, hell, he saw the bags under his friend’s eyes when his baby had first been brought into the world. Poor Wilbur, he thought to himself. Schlatt knows that he’ll have to deal with sick days, teaching Tubbo the basics of life and human decency, but he sees how Wilbur coos each time he sees his baby, Fundy, smile, how he’s seemingly become a new and better man thanks to the kid and honestly, he hopes Tubbo can do the same for him. 

Maybe Schlatt can finally be seen as something other than that rich, wreckless half-ram hybrid who has guts that seemingly everybody hates. _Yeah, he’ll show those assholes he can be responsible_.

Even if it means having to raise a kid.

Schlatt had a decent childhood growing up, in his mind. Sure, his dad hit him sometimes and his mom was never home, but there was always food sitting on the table and he always had Puffy by his side, so he couldn't complain too much. He wouldn’t mind giving a child the chance at a nice life, even if the baby wasn’t his own. It was the least he could do, to make up for the countless mistakes he had already made in such a short amount of time.

He was going to give this boy the best fucking life out there. He’ll find a way to weasle through the irritating hours of work, hell, he’s considering quitting cigars and possibly drinking all together to be a decent influence to the best of his ability.

_Perhaps Tubbo was the miracle the man hadn’t even been searching for._

Schlatt yawns, he’ll think about this in the morning because he’s too drunk and tired to think about everything. He doesn’t even bother to change out his suit, only tossing his red tie on the ground before laying down on his bed, careful as to not wake up the slumbering baby in the box. He moves the box a little closer to him, just to ease his own nerves of any fears of the boy injuring himself. Schlatt smiles, patting the baby’s head one last time for the night. He knows that this is going to be the start of something nice, or chaotic.

Either way, Schlatt knows he’s already in love with his baby ram.

Hopefully sober Schlatt wouldn’t be _too_ upset about this.

**_“Goodnight, Tubbo.”_ **


	2. shopping time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Schlatt realizes he's more than unequipped for a baby and so, he and Tubbo go on a lil' shopping trip.

When Schlatt awoke the following afternoon, there was no doubt he was puzzled on why the hell there was a baby sleeping in a shoebox on top of his bed. He rubbed his eyes, at first believing he had just been thrown into some strange dream, but the memories of the night flashed in his mind in bits and pieces. His head pounded, hangover practically slapping him straight across the face. He groaned, grabbing the bottle of painkillers he usually kept on his nightstand (for obvious reasons) and put a couple in his hand before downing them without water.

 _Right_ , he thought to himself. Schlatt had actually taken in a kid without much thought and to be fair, he wasn't very shocked at the rash decision, as the drunk version of himself was a man who worked on pure impulse, not really putting much thought into anything he did. He'd done so many ridiculous things under the influence out on a whim, embarrasing actions and things that the man would much rather forget, so he wasn't that phased by his choice to suddenly become the father to a baby in a box.

Light (and adorable) snores could be heard as Tubbo was still fast asleep, tiny face buried within the fluffy blanket, clearly not wanting to be woken up just yet. The man cooed at the baby, a tiny smile appearing on his face as he got up. He did his best not to disturb Tubbo to any extent as he was getting ready for his day. After following his basic routine, which mostly consisted of normal things brushing his teeth, getting dressed, things almost everyone did in the morning, except, he would usually take a swig of some kind of hard liquor or beer when he was done getting ready for the day. It was like his coffee, the thing that gave him fuel to survive the dull, pitiful thing he called life.

Perhaps he did have a drinking problem, but Schlatt never gave much thought about it. Puffy had brought it up a couple of times, begging him to at least try to moderate his alcohol intake and he had tried, _holy shit, he tried so fucking hard_ , but the pressure of his job, to be a decent friend, topped off with his irrational thoughts and severe anxiety was all too much for him. Yes, he could reach out to someone, ask for help, but his pride wouldn't let him. Schlatt did his best to hide it from everybody in his life as he was supposed to be a strong moodmaker, that guy that made everyone laugh, who the fuck would want to hear about his life problems? All of it was too overwhelming for him to handle and drinking allowed him to escape the misery, so how could he just _stop_? He felt bad for letting down his older sister, but he'd eventually numb that pang of guilt with whiskey or vodka.

But, he couldn't do that anymore.

Schlatt had a baby now, an actual breathing, living being with emotions and needs. If he truly was going to go through with raising Tubbo as his own, he knew deep down that he had to stop his excessive drinking, he knew this well, that he couldn't be a good role model or influence if he was piss drunk the majority of his time home. He knew what is was like, being afraid of the adult that's supposed to keep you safe because they're under the influence of something that makes them do unthinkable things, that turns them into a fucking monster with no regard for other people's emotions. He knew that heart-sinking feeling too well and he sure as hell wasn't going to let this boy go through what he had to. He was just an innocent kid, one who never asked to be here in the first place, and it was now Schlatt's responsiblity to keep Tubbo safe and make him know that he's loved.

But holy fuck, even taking a glance at those bottles sitting on his counter in full view was so tempting to him, like a forbidden fruit garden. It felt like Satan himself was calling Schlatt's name, taunting him as each painful second ticked by. Even though it was only him and Tubbo, it somehow felt like he was being ridiculed by hundreds of people in his own home.

He shook his head, doing his best to rid himself of his troubling thoughts. Schlatt bit his lip, sighing in defeat. He seriously needed to get his shit together.

If not for himself, then for Tubbo, even if he was still unsure about keeping the kid for the next eighteen years. 

Even though he was pretty deadset on his decision, he was still having second thoughts, but could you really blame him? Not everyone becomes a father over night. Sure, he could have just tossed Tubbo aside, given him to someone else, but he had already somehow become deathly attatched to the baby hybrid, most likely because he was reminded of himself each time he layed eyes on the boy. All he wanted to do was shield Tubbo from the horrors of the real world.

"Alright...My first official day as a dad. Let's fucking do this!" Schlatt attempts to encourage himself, but he can feel the growing pit within his stomach. He really doesn't want to fuck this up. He just hopes he'll make a decent father figure. Schlatt decides it would be best to take his concerns to the internet (For whatever reason made him think that was a good idea.), as he looks at his phone, typing countless things into the searchbar widget, such as:

_"How to be a good dad"_

_"How to take care of a baby"_

_"How to stop drinking"_

_"How to adopt a baby that has no parents"_

The man had clicked a couple of links (Some leading him to AA meetings, which he sure as fuck would never even consider attending. He knew he had a problem with drinking, but he wasn't a full-on alcoholic. At least, not in his mind), read a few articles, and even ordered some parenting books online for the hell of it. He was sure he'd probably give up reading them halfway through, but it was worth a shot. Schlatt could feel himself becoming more and more overwhelmed with all the information being presented to him at one time, ultimately turning off his phone and shoving it back into his pocket. He would have to take this one day at a time and learn as the days went by.

He looked around his kitchen and living room, knowing he's most definitely going to have to do some shopping to make this depressing place a suitable home for a baby to live in.

Suddenly, it actually hits him. Schlatt realizes that he's not prepared to have a baby in his life, _at all_. He had no bottles, no formula, no toys, no diapers-

 _"I have to go shopping, like now."_ He huffed to himself. shoving his wallet into the pocket of his sweatpants (He had money, considering he had to wear a suit for the majority of his days, but he mostly enjoyed being comfortable when he wasn't at the office) and swiping his keys off the coffee table.

His body was already half way out the front door until he realized that Tubbo was still sleeping.

"Fuck." Schlatt muttered, rushing right back inside, making his way into his room. It's not like Schlatt could just leave the kid there all alone.

What if he woke up? What if someone tried robbing the place and hurt Tubbo in the process? The baby had no way of fending for himself. _What if-_

His hands clenched into a fist before he ran his fingers through his hair, gritting his teeth at his the thoughts in his mind, they just wouldn't let him breathe, not even for a second. Schlatt really needed to stop thinking about every single little thing so damn much. The man would always somehow end up scaring himself shitless of the potential of something bad happening to him or somebody he cares for. Even as a kid, he managed to overthink each detail about everything surrounding him, everything said to him, to the point that he would sometimes have to lock himself away in his room or closet to escape the thoughts screaming at him in his head.

The ram hybrid enters his room, heading towards his bed before he peers over the box, looking at the still sleeping boy, sighing. Schlatt really didn't want to wake him up, but what other choice did he have?

Schlatt nudged the baby's chubby cheek with his finger gently. "Hey there, bud. You have to get up now." He gently scooped him up, resulting in Tubbo whining, face scrunching up in what seemed to be discomfort or irritation. Gosh, he felt like such an asshole for waking up the precious sleeping angel. "Aw, I'm really sorry, Tubs, but you have to eat, right? We have to go to the store for your food, or whatever babies eat. Formula, right?" He questioned, as if expecting an actual answer from a literal infant. Schlatt rolled his eyes at his own stupidity.

Tubbo only yawned, little legs and arms stretching out until he was seemingly fully awake, his narrowed eyes now wide with that familiar sense of wonder. He babbled, eyes looking up at Schlatt before his tiny hands reached out for the man's horns.

Schlatt chuckled at the motion, grinning. "You like the horns? They are pretty nice, so I don't blame you, kid." He says before booping the little, growing horns on Tubbo's head. "You'll grow into yours eventually. It's gonna hurt a little, but what's beauty without a little pain, huh? Besides, I'll be here to help."

The baby makes a noise, which Schlatt could only assume was a giggle.

"Alright, Tubs. Let's go get you the stuff you need, yeah? Time for a shopping trip!"

* * *

The carride was an interesting one, to say the least.

See, it's not like Schlatt had a carseat on deck, so he ultimately had to drive with Tubbo sitting on his lap. The kid didn't seem to mind at all, in fact, he seemed to have been having the time of his life, bouncing and giggling as the man drove. It was like he was the sun itself.

Schlatt had even pulled over to take a few photos, figuring it would be nice to have something other than pictures of alcohol and business related things in his camera roll. He was anxious about potentially being pulled over by a cop because he was very much aware what he was doing was illegal and considered child endangerment. In his defense, he had driven as safely and as slowly as legally possible to make sure nothing went sour. Overall, the trip had gone smoothly.

Now, the duo were currently in a store, Tubbo sitting in that little seat in the front of the shopping trolley (in what Schlatt jokingly called the King's throne). To say that Schlatt felt way out of place was a complete understatement, considering the place was _clearly_ meant for new mothers rather than fathers. He was more than sure he was the only guy in the store, which was no big deal in itself, although he could feel the stares of judgement stabbing into his back. He knew the reason wasn't because he was some random single dad with no mother anywhere in sight, but rather because of the large horns protruding from his head. People weren't too fond of hybrids in this area.

God, what fucking year was it? It was ridiculous, how people thought they could judge other people simply based on their appearance. Who cared if someone was a hybrid, a human, or anything else? What did it matter?

He hoped that when Tubbo was older, he wouldn't have to face the same stigma Schlatt faced for being a hybrid.

 _Whatever. Screw these people_ , he thought to himself. Besides, all he had to do was get some stuff and he could be on his way home. He was here for Tubbo and Tubbo only, so who cared what the people surrounding him thought?

Schlatt shot a couple of glares back at the women before heading off to the main section of the stored.

He was never the type of guy to go out and buy groceries, as he would usually just order everything online, but it was clear he couldn't just wait for delivery in this case. Boy, was Schlatt glad he had gone baby shopping with Puffy years back when his nephew was born. His memory was decent, so he could recall most of the basic things needed for a new kid.

Schlatt tossed some of the bare nessecities (like diapers, bottles with cute designs, etc.) and walked around the store for a little, shoving random toys into the cart as well. It wasn't until he got to the aisle containing formula that he realized that he wasn't too sure on what type of formula to get, or what the hell was considered a good brand or a bad brand, or even what type Tubbo would like.

The man didn't want to buy something his baby that he wouldn't enjoy, especially if he was going to be drinking it basically every day. ( _His_ baby. He could get used saying, or rather, thinking that.)

He could have just easily searched it up, but with this type of stuff, Schlatt didn't really have much faith in the internet.

 _But, who could he ask about something like this?_ He sure as fuck didn't want to ask any of the store workers or any of the browsing moms, as they clearly wanted nothing to do with someone of his "kind" and truthfully, he was in such a good mood that one sour interaction would mess with his head completely.

For a moment, he considered asking his sister, even though her son was much older now, but he knew Puffy would instantly question why the heck her little brother was asking about baby formula in the first place. Phil was another option, considering that his newest son, Tommy, had only been born a year and a half prior (He had adopted Tommy at the mere age of four months), so he was fairly close in age with Tubbo, but Schlatt was pretty sure the guy was busy at the moment and he didn't really want to bother him.

Schlatt had always wondered how Phil managed to raise two twin boys, Wilbur and his brother, Techno, at such a young age and on top of that, being an avian hybrid and having no partner to help him out. Phil was only a decade older than Schlatt, give or take, and he already had three son. Schlatt had to admit, he had mad respect for the guy. He hoped he could be as good of a father as Phil.

_A guy could hope._

"Wilbur." He muttered to himself suddenly, taking out his phone and pulling up his friend's contact. Wilbur had just had a kid and was a single dad himself, so it only made sense to ask him. Schlatt hesitated for a moment before ultimately pressing the 'call' button, holding his breath.

The line rung for a couple of seconds, Tubbo staring at him with curious eyes before Schlatt heard the familiar voice.

 _"Schlatt? Hey, what's up, man?"_ Wilbur asks, the drowsiness clearly present in his voice. Schlatt hoped he hadn't woken up his friend from a much needed nap or anything like that. He knew how drained the poor man had been. He had to take care of his little brother, while Phil was off at work and Techno was off at his college classes, on top of taking care his daughter as well, all while working a job from home. Though, Wilbur always sounded dead on the inside for as long as Schlatt had known him, so he wasn't too concerned about the monotone in his voice. Afterall, he was Techno's twin, the man known for his monotonous, emotionless voice.

"Uh, nothing much, dude. I just had a quick question." He responded casually, doing his best to remain calm. He wasn't too sure on why he was freaking out so much, but his heart felt like it was prepared to burst out of his chest from how fast it was beating. 

_"Tommy! Tommy, no! Get that out of your mouth-"_ Schlatt heard shuffling and then a sigh. " _Alrighty_ , _go ahead and ask your question. Sorry about that. Toms is just acting up again. You know how fussy he is."_ His friend responded, as a crying child could be heard in the background, which he could only assume was Tommy, who was most likely put into timeout or something along those lines. 

"Ah, no worries. A-Anyways, I was wondering, how exactly do you tell the difference between a good and bad baby formula?"

There was almost complete silence on the other line before Wilbur spoke again, confusion lacing his voice. _"What an odd question. Why are you even buying formula in the first place?"_ The English man paused for a moment, following with a gasp. _"Jesus, Schlatt, don't tell me you knocked a girl up! One of us already fucked up in that department.."_

" _Wha_ \- God, no dude, I didn't get anyone pregnant! I'm just asking for a friend of mine." Schlatt lied smoothly, doing his best to sound as natural as possible. The man had to admit, he did feel a bit bad about lying to his best friend, but what harm would a little lie cause? Not much, Schlatt hoped.

"He recently had a baby and isn't sure on what type of formula to buy for his kid, so I figured I'd ask you since y'know...you have Tommy and also Fundy." The ram continued as he shoved some random toy off the shelf into Tubbo's tiny hands to keep the baby occupied and entertained. _He wondered, did babies get bored easily?_ Now that he realized, he really didn't know anything about children, or in this case, babies, _at all_. He was **clueless**.

Schlatt made mental note to continue his internet research whenever he had freetime.

" _Oh. You gave me a scare there, man! Honestly man, just look at the ingredients on the nutrition label. Tell your buddy to make sure it doesn't have corn syrup or any other shit like that. Dad says that shit is bad for_ _babies and I'm pretty sure Phil knows more than both of us combined, so I'd just trust his advice. I don't really know what other advice to give."_ Wilbur gave an honest reponse and Schlatt could just hear the other man rub the back of his neck nervously. It was a habit Wilbur carried through his earlier years all the way to adulthood, one that Schlatt had unknowingly picked up himself.

"Alright. Thanks for the help, Wilb. I appreciate it."

 _"Anytime, Schlatt. Listen, I have to go right now, Tommy's throwing a tantrum and I have to calm his ass down because I really don't feel like having to explain to Phil why Tommy's clothes are burnt to a crisp again. Talk to you later!"_ With that, the call had ended.

The ram-hybrid sighed. _Poor Wil_ , he thought to himself. He couldn't imagine having to cautiously take care of a child who was like a ticking time bomb, a kid that could quite literally create fire and magma from his tears and body. Tommy took the term "hot-head" to another level, his hair having the abillity to go from golden locks to blazing fire in an instant when frustrated or angered. Schlatt had only really witnessed one of Tommy's meltdowns, and holy shit, that was a terrifying experience.

_It was before he had known the boy was some kind of magma cube hybrid, so you could picture Schlatt's horrorified face when the then seven month old set his own body ablaze, igniting his clothes and everything around him into flames. A small part surrounding his left eye had turned black, like the dark covering you'd see over lava, bright orange and yellow cracks trailing all around the patch. Large, goopy tears of magma dripped down his face, searing into the foam of his playmat. Phil had just laughed it off, cooing at his son._

_"Tommy, what have I told you about lashing out? You'll burn all your toys at this rate! I know you can't talk yet, mate, but you need to learn how to use your words when you're upset instead of burning everything!" And with that, the blonde baby babbled, flames dying down as he crawled over to the winged man._

Schlatt smiled fondly at the bizzare memory, looking over the countless containers of formula. The trolley was already filled with what seemed like hundreds of toys, countless jars of that unappealing mush (in a different assortment of flavors though because again, Schlatt was an asshole, but not a monster), baby outfits, and even a large assortment of bibs that he was sure he'd never end up putting on Tubbo in the long run. (But, in his defense, they were cute and he wanted them, even if he wasn't going to be the one wearing them).

He looked over the tubs of baby formula, picking several up and inspecting the nutrition labels carefully.

Schlatt ended up settling on a brand with bright yellow labeling because that was the tub that seemed to catch the attention of Tubbo the most, plus, he had followed the advice of his friend, making sure it had no corn syrup or any other things that could potentially be damaging to a baby's health and/or development.

Finally, he was more than sure he had everything he needed. He'd already placed an order for a spruce wood crib, which was already being shipped to his place ( _Good luck getting that up the elevator, he would think to himself, smirk on his face_ ) and he had gotten a carseat with tiny little bees embroided into it, soley for the purpose that Tubbo had smiled at the sight of the tiny insect patches, and God, what he wouldn't do to see that cute grin.

Schlatt had even bought a large bee plush, one that was quite literally bigger than the size of Tubbo's entire body, but if Tubbo smiled at it, that means the man was obliged to get it, no matter how dumb it may have seemed. He noticed that the kid had some kind of weird obsession with bees, as each time he saw the striped yellow creature on anything, he would make grabby hands at it. It was endeering. _And who was Schlatt to crush his little dreams?_

So yeah, the trolley may or may not have been full of bee themed things.

_What about it?_

Schlatt had no fucking idea how long he had actually been out shopping for, but all he knew was that he could use some food and he sure as hell was sure Tubbo felt the same way.

**_And with that, their shopping adventure had come to an end._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not sure how regularly i'll be updating this, but i hope it's enjoyable :) basically this story is going to mainly be about schlatt and his adventures of parenthood (and other problems) and raising tubbo ft. his family and friends dealing with their own issues. btw, fundy is trans in this story because why not, so that's why he is referred to as a daughter at the moment, since he's still a baby in this chapter. as always, sorry for any mistakes or typos!


	3. a bottle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Schlatt almost has a mental breakdown because he doesn't know how to make a bottle.
> 
> Being a new parent is fun.

To say Schlatt was nervous had to be the largest understatement of the century.

He had finally gotten everything set up for his new baby, in a record amount of time, might he add. Hell, he'd even set up the carseat right then and there in the parking lot as soon as he and Tubbo had exited that god-saken store. Schlatt had even gotten things in the room which was now Tubbo's nursery all in the same day (Thanks to express shipping and his somewhat decent building skills, the crib had been built as well).

The room had previously contained nothing more than a spare arm chair that he didn't even recall owning in the first place and he had also taken it upon himself to put away all of the baby's new toys in a tiny chest he had purchased from the store earlier.

He was happy that the room was already painted a light shade of yellow, as it would go perfectly with the bee theme that had clearly won him over. Now, there were only a couple of things left for him to do before he could finally settle down and order that damn Taco Bell he had been craving all day and ironically, it was feeding Tubbo.

The man didn't know why, but holy shit, he felt mortified, a growing, sinking feeling spreading in his stomach. Not one of hunger, but one of dread, that type of feeling you get when you're at the very top of a rollercoaster, preparing to drop down that dreaded, steep hill. Don't get him wrong, it wasn't like he hadn't fed a baby before, in fact, he was proud to say he had fed bottles to a total of three in his whole life; his nephew, Tommy, and even Fundy. But the thing was, the parents of those kids had already made the bottles in advance, whereas Schlatt was complete and fucking clueless on how the hell the bottle making process even worked.

He spent a good fifteen minutes browsing the internet for any kind of information, but it didn't matter what he watched or what he read, he was left dumbfounded, making him like an absolute idiot. He knew it was stupid, to be afraid to make something as simple as a bottle of formula, however, he couldn't help but be worried that he would somehow end up fucking something up and end up poisoning Tubbo (Maybe not something as drastic as that.), or that he would make the bottle too hot and burn the tip of the baby's tongue in the process of feeding him. 

Schlatt couldn't bare the thought of hurting him, even if it was accidental. What type of dad would he be if he already injured the child that had only been in his care for less than twenty-four hours (Even though it already felt like a lifetime). _He would never forgive himself if he hurt Tubbo in any way, shape, or form._

Schlatt let out an exasperated sigh, knowing he couldn't stall forever,. From what he could tell, Tubbo was a relatively well-behaved and calm baby, but he could see how the little one began chewing on the sleeves of his pastel, yellow onsie, how he began getting fussy and easily irritated by anything, like the loudness of the television or the noise of the cars outside the windows. The kid had to eat. Schlatt couldn't just starve Tubs because of his own fears and insecurities. He had to grow some balls and go make that fuckin' bottle, no matter how much the mere thought of it scared the living shit out of him.

So, there he was, currently standing in the kitchen, replaying the same video tutorial over and over again until it somehow imprinted itself into his brain. 

_"Wash your hands thoroughly with soap and warm water."_ The woman said, a large smile on her face as she demonstrated herself washing her hands in a large sink. Schlatt couldn't understand what was so exciting about putting water and soap on your hands, but he shrugged it off, rolling his eyes at the obviously fake enthusiam as he shuffled over to the sink. If someone would have told him he would be making a bottle all on his own for a child he had found in a box, he would have laughed directly in their face and called them a liar. _Boy, how things could change in such a short period of time._

_"Next, you're going to want to measure the desired amount of water and put it to boil on low heat. The reason you do this is because even though the baby formula is sealed, it has the potential of containing bacteria and you wouldn't want your baby ingesting any of that. Typically, most people tend to microwave it, but I choose to boil it just because I feel as if it's safer. But that's just my personal opinion, feel free to choose either method!"_

Schlatt messed around in his cabinets before finding a relitivaley small pot, which he filled up with water and set on the stove, just as instructed. _Jeez, he was learning more in a day than he had in all his years of living._

He was sure Puffy would be proud of him, of how he was willingly teaching himself things he normally wouldn't have gave two fucks about previously. She had always wanted him to take on some responsibility of something, whether it be a cat, dog, or even a fish. He was sure a baby was most likely at the very bottom at her list, but he was going to do his best to prove himself.

Now that he thought about it, he still had yet to tell anyone in his life about Tubbo. It wasn't that he was embarrassed to be a now single-dad because of a drunken decision, actually, he was damn proud to call Tubbo his son. Though, it would seem like he always let his nerves get the best of him in any given situation. He wasn't sure on how long he could keep this whole thing a secret. (Not that he wanted to, but he figured it would be for the best for now.)

Schlatt had no idea how he was going to break the news that he had so suddenly become a father overnight. He was sure his family and friends would think he was joking, that it was just Schlatt making another stupid joke.

Wilbur would cackle loudly at the very thought of Schlatt being a father, Techno would most likely roll his eyes or scoff at the man, Puffy would just assume be one of his antics, and Phil would give him a look of confusion mixed with concern. After all, he was the guy that had previously said "I never, _ever_ want a kid. I don't have the time for that crap. Who would willingly own one of those fuckin' gremlins?"

_Him, apparently._

Except, he could happily say Tubbo wasn't a gremlin, in fact, he was more like a gift sent down by whatever higher being or beings that were out there. _A gift Schlatt would do his best to cherish._

Lost in his thoughts, the brunette hadn't even realized the water was at its boiling point, the steam rising from the pot. Schlatt rushed over back to it, quickly turning the stove off. The ram-hybrid did his best to pour the water carefully into the bottle, although, he managed to create his own waterfall on the counter, almost burning his toe off in the process.

He would have to clean that later.

Schlatt moved past the mess before he unpaused the video, awaiting further instruction, feeling like a baby taking its first steps. It was an odd feeling.

He hadn't willingly spent time in his own kitchen as he was so damn use to just ordering food or going out every night, that he had basically forgotten about the room's existence all together. It felt kind of nice, if he was being honest, making food for another person.

He still was in disbelief with himself, the fact that he was actually taking this seriously and had actually deciding on essentially doing an entire 360 on how he lived his day to day life, all for some kid. Schlatt hoped it would all be worth it in the end.

 _"Once your water is done boiling, pour your desired amount into the bottle and then take a leveled scoop, or scoops of formula and add as much as the nutrition label recommends. Then, put the cap on the bottle and shake until it seems mixed well. With that, you're down and done!"_ The woman in the video exclaimed, showing off the formula she had mixed with another painfully obvious fake smile.

Schlatt hummed a tune that had been stuck in his head as he followed each step slowly and carefully.

Is this what being a rocket scientist felt like? Within a few minutes, he had successfully made a bottle, the light burns from the hot water being well worth it.

"Let's fucking go, baby!" Schlatt exclaimed as he grinned proudly at himself, impressed that he hadn't accidentally started a fire or dumped the formula powder all over the ground. Who knew mixing formula was that easy? He couldn't believe he treated it like climbing a mountain or something equally as difficult.

He had been acting like he was mixing highly toxic chemicals in a lab. Schlatt despised how easily he got anxious over the dumbest things, how he stressed himself out for no reason, all because his mind was a complete and utter mess.

The man yawned, walking back over to the sink before holding the bee-themed bottle upside down, letting a few drips of the liquid fall onto his wrist. He'd seen Puffy do this before, as a way to test whether the temperature of the formula was alright.

She would laugh at him as Schlatt sat there stupidly, wondering what the hell his sister was doing with his nephew's food. Now, he had a better understanding. 

Schlatt sat there for a second, ultimately making up his mind that the bottle's temperature was just right, not too hot that it would melt the inside of Tubbo's mouth, but not too cold either. He had to say, he was sure he had done a damn good job for his very first time.

All that was left to do was finally give the bottle to his kid. The hybrid could already feel his hands begin to shake uncontrollably at the thought, to the point that he almost dropped the bottle on the polished wood of the floor. His eyebrows knitted together as he took in a deep breath, doing his best to calm himself. There was no reason for him to worry so much, yet it felt like the world was caving in on him.

Schlatt knew nobody was perfect and that he couldn't be an amazing father twenty-four-seven, but the guy felt like he was somehow letting down Tubbo, even though he was quite literally only a baby.

God, he felt like such a moron, wondering why the hell he felt like screaming and crying every two seconds. If one, singular child made him feel like this, a kid that didn't even cry or scream, he couldn't imagine the stress Phil was under constantly with three boys at home.

No wonder the winged man had countless white hairs and feathers at such a young age. He needed to just get over himself already. He couldn't panic every single time he made a bottle, afterall, he would have to be doing it several times a day, everyday for the next couple a months to a year. 

It was his time to feed Tubbo for the first time.

* * *

Schlatt sat on the couch, Tubbo nuzzling into his chest, not paying any sorts of attention to the bottle being held in his dad's freehand. It was obvious he was a cuddly type of kid, loving to attatch himself to the man each time he was held, as if he were a mini koala. The baby would mess with the drawstrings of the ram's hoodie, tugging on them and even shoving them into his mouth, babbling and giggling. 

"Tubbo, I literally went through hell to make you a bottle and you want to eat my clothes instead? Ouch." Schlatt cooed playfully, carefully taking the piece of clothing away from Tubbo, who huffed, tiny nose scrunching up. He chuckled at the sight, patting the boy's head before gently shifting him into a more comfortable position, then proceeding to bring the bottle to the baby's mouth, who gladly accepted it.

Schlatt could feel the stress instantly melt away at the sight of the baby ram. Clearly, he was doing something right because the child in his arms wasn't screaming or throwing a fit. Even if he had only fed a few babies in his lifetime, it felt like muscle memory at that point, as if he'd done it thousands of times before.

A wide grin appeared on his face as he watched Tubbo fondly. _How could something so simple be so fucking adorable?_ This kid had Schlatt wrapped around his tiny, little finger and he didn't even know it. The boy gazed up at him with those big, deer-like eyes, gurgling contently, some of the formula dribbling out of his mouth and onto the man's sleeve.

Schlatt cringed a little, but he didn't mind it all that much. Besides, babies weren't meant to be the cleanest things on Earth, so he knew he was going to eventually come to adjust to getting stains on his clothes constantly. He made a mental note to actually put one of the countless bibs he had bought for Tubbo the next time he fed him to help prevent future messes.

The television emitted low chatter from its speakers, some random cartoon playing, the noises of the city being drowned out completely, Schlatt being at peace in his own mind for once that day. There was just something about the kid that made him feel grounded, that made him feel like maybe he wasn't so bad of a guy after all.

He watched as Tubbo's eyelids grew droopy and how he'd suddenly snap his head up, falling in and out of sleep. He'd already curled up into a little ball, finding the perfect spot to sleep on, which would ultimately be right on top of Schlatt's chest. Tubbo buried his face into the fabric of the sweatshirt, his little ears falling flat down, which meant the boy was out like a light.

_Lucky little bastard. I wish I could fall asleep that easily._

He knew that if he moved in the slightest, he'd most likely end up waking up Tubbo and that just wasn't a risk he was willing to take, not with how cute he looked. Schlatt would feel like a monster if he disrupted the baby's nap. So, he leaned back on the couch ever so slightly and figured there'd be no harm in catching some sleep himself. He would just order himself food later.

Besides, dads took power naps, right?

**_Schlatt could definitely get used to this._ **

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and another chapter down! sorry if this one was boring or shorter, but think of it as like,, filler? idk lmao, there's really no definitive plot here. as always, sorry for any mistakes or typos!


	4. visitors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Schlatt and Tubbo get some unexpected visitors.

It's been around a week and a half since Schlatt found Tubbo in that box. It's been rough, a long, learning experience, but overall, the man has to admit, it's been some of the best days of his entire life. He's gotten some of the best sleep in years all within those short, but _powerful_ naps he would take with his boy on the couch. He discovered how to properly make a schedule and actually follow it, all to make sure the baby ram was well taken-care of in what could be considered an "orderly fashion". Of course, the schedule wasn't anything strict, but it served as somewhat of a guideline for their days.

Schlatt's learnt a lot about Tubbo in such a short amount of time. He knows Tubbo prefers cold baths (As odd as it is.) instead of warm ones. Schlatt discovered how his son loves the nature and animal channels and seems to be more entertained by them rather than cartoons (Although, the kid still likes them.) and how he sits on the couch, eyes wide with wonder and curiosity.

He was even lucky enough to figure out when the boy's birthday was (Turns out his little one was a mere six months old, only a year younger than Tommy, which he had come to the conclusion of the day he went shopping with Tubs.). He had found it on the crumpled sticky note that had been placed onto Tubbo when Schlatt first found him that day. December 23rd, he's circled the date on every single calendar in the house and written it down absolutely everywhere so there's no chance of him possibly forgetting. 

He knows Tubbo likes watching the cars from the window of Schlatt's room, that he likes sitting in the warmth of the sunlight. Schlatt notices the little things, how Tubbo's little ears perk up when the man engages in conversations with the boy. He knows the kid isn't stupid, in fact, Schlatt's proud to say he's far from it. Even if he can't directly understand or respond to his dad, Tubbo babbles things and enjoys hearing his father's voice. It warms Schlatt's supposedly cold, dead heart (He refuses to admit he's an actual softie.) to know that at least someone doesn't find his endless rambling irritating.

_Even if it's just his kid._

Tubbo _loves_ bees, that's another thing Schlatt had obviously taken notice of. The man had bought so many things, bee plushes, bee onesies, bee themed pacifers, every single thing with a bee that anybody could think of. At this rate, his entire place was going to look like a beehive, like a beekeeper's paradise, but he wasn't complaning. Whatever made his son happy. He saw how the striped insects put a grin on Tubbo's face, how his eyes lit up at the sight of them. 

Schlatt still hasn't made his return to work yet. He had called into work sick and then proceeded to use a vast majority of his vacation days (Which he had so strategically saved) and he's not sure he even wants to go back. The man practically refused to entertain the idea of having to leave Tubbo's side for long periods of time, nevermind having to leave for work and being unable to see that angelic face. He shruddered at the very _thought_ of having to leave his baby in the care of another person. The thought of it made him so uneasy, to the point where he actually felt physically sick. He knew it would eventually come to him having to go back to the office, but he still hadn't even looked into babysitters. _He really dug his own grave with this one._

The hybrid let out a sigh, the water pouring from the sink's faucet drowning out his troubling thoughts as he cleaned out one of Tubbo's bottles. Schlatt still had around two to three more days to find a solution to his problem, so he figured he'd just forget about it in the mean time.

Logically, it wasn't the most intelligent thing to do, to put something as serious as this off to the side like it was just another project he could procrastinate on, he was more than aware of how stupid the choice was. But, he couldn't help it. The very thought of being apart from Tubbo for more than ten minutes gave him the worst feeling of utter dread.

Sure, it wasn't like he was always watching over the kid, he'd let him sit on his little, yellow playmat to play with blocks alone in the middle of the living room (He had moved the coffee table aside, just so Tubbo was able to see the television from the comfort of his playmat.), he'd sometimes even leave Tubbo sitting on the couch by himself to watch whatever was playing on the screen, but it's not like Schlatt was miles away from him. _His son was always within a few rooms reach._

Schlatt knew this was going to become an issue. He had to face the fact that he couldn't always be by Tubbo's side twenty-four-seven, even if he wanted to deny it. 

The man splashed water on his face, huffing. He hated the fact that he was always somehow in a constant war with his own thoughts. It was tiring, to say the least, having a jumble of messy, loud thoughts screaming at him in his head. 

He walked over to his fridge, grabbing a bottle full of apple juice for Tubbo and a regular bottle of water for himself. Schlatt made his way to the living room and to the couch, where Tubbo sat, happily suckling on his bumblebee themed pacifier, bouncing along to the theme of some kids show. He noticed his dad enter the room, his eyes locking onto the bottle held by Schlatt.

Tubbo instantly made grabby hands towards it, crawling towards the man, almost falling off the couch in the process, much to the stress of Schlatt, who hurriedly dashed over, picking the baby up and plopping him back down in his designated spot on the middle of the couch, before handing the bottle to him.

Now, Tubbo wasn't the best at holding his bottle all on his own, considering his age and size, but he still percivered, already taking his little sliver of independace. Schlatt let him do as he pleased, figuring it would be best to let him go at his own pace, even if it meant he had to constantly clean and dry up spilt juice. He knew it was good for a baby's development or something like that.

Besides, Tubbo really only liked to be fed by Schlatt when it came to formula or before his naps, he'd made it clear as day when he kept on throwing tantrums when Schlatt had attempted to give him juice as he would formula. 

"Look at you, buddy. Already growin' fast on me n' shit. You're gonna make me feel old as hell at this rate." Schlatt muttered, ruffling the fluffy hair on the boy's head as gently as physically possible. Tubbo looks back up at him, tilting his head and giggling, reaching out for his dad.

Schlatt smiled, knowing exactly what his kid was asking for. He carefully lifted Tubbo up before sitting down on the couch and setting the boy on his lap. 

"Y'know, I never thought I'd be letting a baby use my lap as a chair. You're a lucky, little guy, you hear me, Tubs?" He cooed as he leaned back into the cushions of the couch, getting comfortable because he knew he was going to be on the couch for a couple of hours.

Tubbo only yawned in response, his little body falling back onto Schlatt and soon enough, the two were out cold.

_Like father, like son._

* * *

Schlatt awoke with a jolt, eyes snapping open, the golden light of the evening sun practically jabbing into them. He groaned, rubbing his temple, eyebrows furrowing. He and Tubbo had definitely taken a longer nap than they usually did, Schlatt was more than sure it was somewhere around five or six now. He glanced down at his lap, where Tubbo was slumped over, still deep in whatever dreamland he was in, pacifier hanging halfway out of his mouth, drool dribbling down his chin.

As much as he enjoyed the adorable sight, he knew he'd be better off waking up Tubbo sooner than later because if he left the boy sleeping, he would be restless all night and he didn't need his baby having a fucked up sleep schedule.

He turned Tubbo's body around to face him before nudging him. "Hey, bud, you gotta wake up. Nap time's over now." Schlatt said in a soft tone, bouncing Tubbo up and down gently. It was an odd way to wake up a child, but it worked the majority of the time, so he couldn't say much. Sure enough, the lamb was wide awake, rubbing his eyes with his little balled up fists. He was never too fussy when waking up, no matter if it was from a nap or in the morning, which Schlatt was more than thankful for.

A knock came from the front door. At first, he thought it was noise from the TV until the sound became repeated. He raised an eyebrow, setting his son on the couch, placing a kiss on his forehead before getting up to answer it. "I'll be right back, okay?"

He made his way over to the door, unlocking it, only to reveal three familiar faces on the other side. Huh?

"Uncle Schlatt!" His five-year-old nephew chirped, throwing his body onto Schlatt's, hugging him tightly. For such a young kid, he sure did have the grasp of a bear.

He almost stumbled back, but managed to keep his balance. "Hey, Dream! Long time no see," He chuckled, patting the kid's head of dirty blonde hair. Schlatt watched as his sister entered, followed by Wilbur, who offered him a smile.

"Uh, not that I'm not happy to see you guys, but why exactly are you guys here? I mean, you guys don't normally hangout with each other that often, nevermind coming over to my place together." Schlatt questioned, watching as Dream ran around the hall, his favorite duck plushie in hand as he ran around in circles. He wondered how the hell that kid had so much energy stored in him.

"Well, I figured Wil could use some time away from home and Phil even offered to take care of Fundy for him, so we both figured what harm would it be to come visit our favorite idiot? And as your big sister, it is kinda my responsibility to make sure you haven't done anything stupid to get yourself killed." Puffy responded, pulling Schlatt into a slight headlock, ruffling his hair. _Sheesh, now he remembered where Dream had gotten his strength from._

He saw the smirk on Wilbur's face, how his friend held in stifled laughter and how he pulled his phone out to snap a picture, the flash almost blinding both rams. "Hey! This isn't funny, asshole! Fuck you!" Schlatt growled at him, managing to squirm out from the woman's grasp.

"I beg to differ." Wilbur stuck out his tongue, shoving his phone back into his pocket. "Anyways, what have you been up to, man? Nobody's seen you for like, two weeks." He continued, walking in the direction. Schlatt could see the concern in the eyes of his sister and best friend and it honestly made him feel like shit.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work?" Questioned Puffy, who had grabbed her son's hand, guiding the hyperactive boy in the direction they were walking, although, he quickly broke away from his mom, dashing off.

"Oh, I'm taking some time off and stuff. You know, mental health or whatever the fuck..." He muttered, before he stopped dead in his tracks. Schlatt hadn't given much thought about having people over, he actually enjoyed the company, until he the realization that he still had yet to tell anyone about his new kid hit him like a train. _Fuck_. It was bound to happen soon, but he hadn't expected the 'grand reveal' to happen like this. The man hadn't even considered the fact that anyone would go out of their way to come and visit him anyways, so he had no idea how he was going to muster up an explanation.

The sound of the television's speakers echoed throughout the hall. Puffy and Wilbur exchanged mutual glances of confusion, both of them taking notice to the countless toys scattered around the living room and the playmat that sat right smack in the middle.

"Is that...a baby?" Schlatt's nephew asked, excitement lacing his voice. 

Wilbur's eyebrows knitted together, gaze landing on Tubbo, who gave him an equal look of bewilderment. He couldn't believe it! His best friend had a kid and he didn't even know! He had to admit, that kind of hurt.

 _Here we go_ , Schlatt thought to himself, preparing for the bombardment of questions.

Dream let out a gasp, practically squealing as he ran up to the couch, crouching down to be on Tubbo's level. He gave the lamb a toothy grin before looking at the adults in the room. "Mommy, why didn't you tell me I had a cousin?!" The older boy giggled as he watched the little lamb smile back at him.

"Well, duckling, Mommy didn't know that either. Maybe your _uncle_ can give us some kind of explanation?" Puffy glared at her brother, running her slim fingers through her snow white hair, practically staring into his soul. _Oh, he knew he was screwed_.

Schlatt cleared his throat, rubbing the nape of his neck, laughing nervously. "Well, uh, surprise?" The man really had no idea what to say, how to respond, so his brain could only cope with humor. He sighed, walking over to the couch, lifting up Tubbo.

"Surprise? Really, Schlatt? Is that the only explanation you can give? Since when did you have a kid? Huh? Who did you get pregnant?! You didn't even tell your own sister! And _you_ -" Puffy turned to Wilbur, pointing her finger towards him accusingly. "You probably knew about this!"

" _Wha-_ I did not! I had no idea he had a kid! I'm just as lost as you are!" Wilbur shouted before looking over at Schlatt, eyes practically begging for some kind of intervention.

"Puffy! Calm down, the poor guy really didn't know." Schlatt put his free hand on her shoulder before sighing once again. "I guess I really do have to explain...Uh, this is Tubbo. Well, his name is Toby, but I like calling him Tubbo. Listen, I kind of like, found him on my doorstep in a box a week or so ago when I was shit-faced and I decided to keep him. I promise I didn't get anyone pregnant, scouts honor."

Her jaw gaped in disbelief, looking at her younger brother with a puzzled expression. "You're telling me... _you just kept a kid you found in a box_? What the hell? Kids aren't _dogs_ , Schlatt! I mean, I know you're trying to be more responsible, but do you really think a baby is the best thing to have? What about your job and stuff?" She stopped herself momentarily, taking a deep breath. "I'm not saying this because I don't trust you or anything. You're an adult. But, I'm just concerned. I don't want you to get yourself into something you may not be able to handle. I don't want you to overwhelm yourself."

"I-I know, sis, I know you're not trying to be an ass. I get it. I just...He looks so much like me, Puffy. I was just drawn to him. I don't know what it is about Tubbo. He's special, this little guy. I know it's not going to be easy, but I think keeping him is worth a shot, even it seems crazy. Like you've told me, it's a learning process. As for my job and stuff like that, I'm still not sure." Schlatt responded truthfully, hoping he didn't seem like too much of an idiot.

"I reckon I could help you with that, man, if you need someone to watch him. I already watch two kids, so what's one more to the mix? Only if you want, though." Wilbur spoke up as he booped Tubbo's nose, causing the baby to burst into a fit of giggles.

"Wilbur, I don't want to put more on y-"

His friend cut him off almost immediately, shaking his head before pushing up his circular glasses on his face. "Schlatt, really, it's no big deal. You're my friend, man. Plus, I wouldn't mind having this cute fella around."

"Thank you, Wil." The ram gave him a small, but appreciative smile. Schlatt was lucky as hell to have a friend like him. Seriously, the two had been through thick and thin and somehow, managed to stay friends as the years passed. He felt like the weight of an elephant had been lifted up from his shoulders, the 'secret' was finally out and now, it was known that Schlatt was a father.

Puffy smiled fondly at the sight of her brother holding his son with such care, he was no longer that mischevious, ten-year-old she had done her best to protect from the world, instead, he was finally all grown up, now with a kid of his own and she couldn't be more proud (Even if she was slightly worried). She knew Tubbo was going to do a lot of good in Schlatt's life. Also, it seemed like her own son had taken quite the liking to his new cousin, as Dream couldn't stop bouncing up and down, playing peek-a-boo with Tubbo.

Wilbur grinned ear to ear, snapping another photo on his phone.

_"I can't wait to tell Dad and Techno! They're not gonna believe me!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for taking longer to update! i had to catch up with school work and just a bunch of other things, but i hope this wasn't too bad! updates will definitely take a bit longer now unfortunately due to school, etc, but i'll do my best to at least attempt to be somewhat consistent. i'm also thinking about writing a oneshot book or a ranboo-centric story, but i'm not too sure yet. as always, sorry for any mistakes or typos. thanks for reading!! :D

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if it was boring or if there are any errors- this is my first time actually writing anything on here lol.


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